Good to see this one back!
#Your art is excellent, with only a couple of odd looking panels in the four pages - mainly where you've drawn ponies face on (the Luna on page 3, bottom right is the one that looks the strangest to my eyes). The 'sick Celestia' is very good.
#The one real problem is the text, especially in pages 3&4. These comics just beg to be printed into a book; at that size I'd have to print in A3 to stand any chance of reading it.
#You also might want to get a proof reader; there are a fair number of odd phrases and grammatical errors.
"When we realized that something bad is happening in Equestria, the sister of mine decided to take it in her own hooves."
Would be better as:
"When we realized that something bad was happening in Equestria, that sister of mine decided to take it in her own hooves."
# Thank you very much! Well, en face ponies in general tend to look odd. Even it the show itself. I also don't have much experience in drawing them.
# Many people pointed this one out. Actually, I've never thought of these pages as printouts. I'll definitely take this into consideration when composing upcoming pages.
# Rrright... I knew this day will eventually come. English isn't my native language and I still have problems with grammar and stuff. But I really hoped I could deal with it by myself. Turns out I was wrong. Sigh.
Thank you very much for this critique!