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 Comments Answers:
# Thank you very much! Well, en face ponies in general tend to look odd. Even it the show itself. I also don't have much experience in drawing them. # Many people pointed this one out. Actually, I've never thought of these pages as printouts. I'll definitely take this into consideration when composing upcoming pages. # Rrright... I knew this day will eventually come. English isn't my native language and I still have problems with grammar and stuff. But I really hoped I could deal with it by myself. Turns out I was wrong. Sigh. Thank you very much for this critique! |
Sta.sh
Comments:
#Your art is excellent, with only a couple of odd looking panels in the four pages - mainly where you've drawn ponies face on (the Luna on page 3, bottom right is the one that looks the strangest to my eyes). The 'sick Celestia' is very good.
#The one real problem is the text, especially in pages 3&4. These comics just beg to be printed into a book; at that size I'd have to print in A3 to stand any chance of reading it.
#You also might want to get a proof reader; there are a fair number of odd phrases and grammatical errors.
For example:
"When we realized that something bad is happening in Equestria, the sister of mine decided to take it in her own hooves."
Would be better as:
"When we realized that something bad was happening in Equestria, that sister of mine decided to take it in her own hooves."